30 Days of Hell
by Foozy-heeh
Summary: After the Fuhrer mysteriously gives out a 30 day vacation for all military personnel, everyone takes things too seriously and won't stop thinking about the unneeded. But for our fma family, it only means 30 days of hell.
1. Day 1

WOOHOO! Anyway...new storyline..

Summary: In a random day, the Fuhrer of Amestris decides to have all military personnel take a month's break. It'll be 30 days of Hell for Roy Mustang.

"Goooooood Morning, Amestris! Today we have clear skies and a 80 degrees temperature. Yes, it seems like the day to go out and have a nice time at the beach!"

Roy shuffled in his bed. He tried to shake away the source of the voice, but failed.

"In other news, Roy Mustang seems to be a bedhead and is sleeping in _again!_"

Roy punched the source of the voice and hit the target. The stomach. Of Maes Hughes.

"Ow..." Maes jumped back as his friend punched him in the stomach.

"MAES! How did you get in here!" Roy jumped up from his bed and stared at his friend in shock.

"Window," Maes said simply.

"I thought I told you never to say the word 'window' again.." Roy said with clenched teeth.

-flashback-

Roy shuffled his desk for his keys. He couldn't find them _again_. Note that again is the key word. He opened and closed his drawers. And looked under everyone's desk. He just couldn't find them. But then Maes walked into the room.

"Roy...what are you doing?" Maes raised an eyebrow as he saw Roy's pair of feet emerging from Hawkeye's desk. _'Wait..this can't be right...Why's Roy looking under her desk...He's not doing anything BAD, is he?'_

"What do you want, Maes..?" an annoyed Roy Mustang asked his ever-so-happy friend.

"I should ask the same thing...well almost..What do you want from under _Riza Hawkeye's _desk?" Maes got an unusually perverted glint in his eyes.

"SHUT UP, MAES! I was looking for my keys! I can't find them!"

"_Again_," Maes reminded.

"Again.."

Maes walked forward to Roy's desk and stood dumbstruck for awhile. He picked up a magazine which lay on the desk.

"What's this? A _naughty_ magazine?" Maes gasped.

Roy jumped up and hit his head from under Havoc's desk. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?" Roy almost slid on the floor and finally grabbed hold of Maes. He took one look at the magazine..

It was one of Riza's gun magazines.

"Such a dirty mind you have, Roy!" Maes taunted in glee.

"Shut up! There is nothing _dirty_ about having a gun magazine!"

"But it's dirty that you're actually _looking _at one!" Maes gasped. "Imagine the great Roy Mustang looking at gun magazines! The great Flame Alchemist gone wrong! What have you turned into, Roy?" Maes gave a fake sniff and brought his head down.

"Maes..." Roy muttered in anger.

"And your children will taunt you one day for looking at these awful devices of terror!"

"I'm NOT getting ANY KIDS!" Roy yelled.

"Your _friends_ will abandon you! And Riza will dump you!" Maes said dramatically.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!"

"And then the Fuhrer will give you a demotion for doing awful things! And then you'll get turned by the entire town!"

"..."

"Then you'll have to move to a new town and start a new life! You never know, you may get a wife, Roy!"

"MAES!"

"Ok, ok...I'm leaving...by the way..your keys are on your desk.." Maes laughed.

"..._what..._" Roy angrily said.

"I can't believe that you, who can sense that someone is getting a promotion, cannot see that your keys are on your desk!"

"...Maes...get out..."

_Wooooo...wooooo..woooo..._

"Police sirens..." Maes said bluntly.

"Huh?" Roy said, obviously confused.

"THEY'RE AFTER ME, ROY!" Maes yelled.

"EH? What are you talking about?" Roy backed away from Maes. He backed right into the window.

"I know! I'll use you as a decoy!" Maes ran forward and picked Roy up.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING, MAES!"

Maes threw Roy out of the window.

-3 days later-

"I can't believe you threw him out of a _window_..."

"But they were after me!"

"They weren't after you _then._ They certainly are _now._"

" I know those officers' evil plans...Those disgusting creatures.."

"You're part of the military, Hughes...We all are.."

"I KNEW IT!"

"Eh?" 3 men's voices all said.

"You're all impersonating my subordinates to get me aren't you!"

"No! We're really us!"

"Don't lie to me! I know perfectly well through your evil tricks!"

Roy opened his eyes. He looked forward and saw Maes holding one of his throwing knives and Fury, Havoc, and Falman cowering in a corner.

"Oh, hi, Roy!" Maes said in his happy voice.

Fury moved to wipe some sweat off his face.

"DON'T MOVE, YOU SLICK BASTARDS!" Maes yelled back at his subordinates.

Roy flinched at the sight of his friend's sudden personality change. But then again, Maes always seemed to be like that.

-end of flashback-

"Oh yeah..I nearly forgot about that..." Maes said, sitting down into a chair.

"How do you forget throwing your friend out of a window...?"

"I don't kn-Sirens..."

"EH?" Roy jumped out of bed and near the door.

"Aha! Just kidding!" Maes said laughing.

"Not funny..." Roy angrily said. "Now let's get to the point.._Why _are you here?"

"Oh yeah..Never really mentioned that...Well..The Fuhrer is having all of us take one month's break from duty." Maes said, getting into serious 'mode'.

"That's odd..." Roy stated, rubbing his chin. (A/N: xDD At the moment I wrote this I started to rub my chin, but then I remembered that I have a fricking pimple on my chin..So I was like "hm-OW!" XD)

"You bet it is..But we ought to just enjoy this break while we can!" Maes said happily.

"That's ironic..Hearing that statement from you.." Roy laughed. "You're _always_ breaking...Running to my office, bragging about your family and telling me that I should get one.

"Oh, but I don't do that all the time," Maes reminded. "Sometimes I actually do my work!"

"Yeah...sometimes.." Roy said, not fully believing him.

"But I'm always so busy doing all those investigations! I'd take paperwork any day!" Maes said.

"No..trust me..you wouldn't..." Roy said sadly. "It's hell...It really is.."

"Somehow...I'm not surprised, hearing that from you.." Maes laughed.

"I ought to get packed...When's the first day of this thing..?" Roy asked.

"Today!"

"Where...am I supposed to live for a month..." Roy asked himself.. "I always slept in military lodges..."

"You can stay at my house!" Maes suggested happily.

"No thanks.." Roy said firmly.

"Oh, come on! It'll be so fun! We'd have sleep overs every night! And we'd eat chips and watch movies!"

"Maes...we're nearly 30...this is kind of sad.."

"Roy you party pooper! You should've learned by now that even if your 52 you should still be able to enjoy yourself as a child!" Maes exclaimed.

"But I'm _not_ 52," Roy stated in a duh tone.

"I said _IF_," Maes said, slapping himself on the forehead. "You seriously need to listen to me more!"

"Listen to _you?_ I swear, if I ever listened to you, you'd somehow probably convince me to jump off a bridge." Roy said shaking his head slowly. "I'd probably jump off anyway because of your crazy ideas and family bragging."

"That hurts,"

"You've hurt me more,"

"Pfft, yeah right." Maes said. "Anyway, now that I have you informed, I'm off."

Roy turned back to his bed when the rock of reality hit him hard on the back of his head.

"Wait..Maes..how'd you get in here?" Roy turned back to his friend who was just about to exit the room.

"I told you already..the window.." Maes gave a glare to Roy which obviously said 'You have major listening problems'.

"I'm on the _3rd_ floor!" Roy pointed out.

'_It's called using a ladder..and being the point of attention for an hour,' _Maes thought. "I flew, Roy." Maes stated bluntly.

Roy didn't catch the sarcasm.

"What do you mean 'You flew'? You can't fly!" Roy yelled. He was getting irritated now.

"Oh yes, Roy! I grabbed my magic pixie dust and flew all the way up here just to see you!" Maes said in a fake face of glee. He pulled some lint out of his pocket and dropped it on top of Roy's head.

"HEY!"

"Now you can fly m'boy!" Maes said happily, "Just jump out of the window and believe!"

"..Maes.."

"And then you'll experience the magical wonder of falling straight to the hard pavement and realize that your best friend was being _sarcastic._" Smiling, Maes walked out of the room and went to his own home.

"Damn, Maes.." Roy muttered under his breath.

He went back to his messy bed and tried to think of what to pack.

"So..I pack..uhh.."

'_Everything...'_ the voice in his head told him.

"Which is..." Roy looked around the room. There really wasn't much there.

'_Ever hear of clothes?' _

"Yes! Clothes!" Roy walked to his closet to find that it was empty except for his extra pair of his military uniform. He pulled it out of his closet and shoved it in his empty suitcase. "Now what else..."

"Your paperwork," a voice behind him said.

"No, I wouldn't pack that..What a waste of space." Roy said, not realizing that a _person_ had said it and not his _head. _

"I'd really recommend it, sir." He felt something cold behind his neck. "The nice 30 days would be a excellent time to finish up your work that you haven't completed."

'_Do I dare..?' _Roy thought as he flinched from the cold hitting his bare skin. Slowly he turned around and looked at his intruder straight in her eye. Er..._her_ eye.

Riza Hawkeye stood there with her gun drawn and pointed at Roy. A serious expression on her face made her look as if she really was going to kill him.

"Lieutenant Hawkeye!" Roy said in a surprised voice even though he really wasn't that surprised. _'Maybe if she'd just keep that thing home for once, she'd actually have a boyfriend..'_

"Good morning," she said sternly. "As I was saying, it would be a good idea to finish your paperwork over the holiday."

"But why would I do that!" Roy whined like a little child.

"It's not as if you're actually going to be doing anything else. Seeing as you don't even have a place to stay for the night."

'_Got me there,' _Roy thought. "But maybe if you'd let me stay at your house, I'd be able to finish up. _And_ we'd be able to get to know each other more!" He put up his charming smile of his that usually got everyone's attention on his face.

"I don't think so," Hawkeye said closing her eyes. "I don't know about you, but I certainly am not interesting in having my superior as my lover," she put the gun back into the holster and left the room.

'_DAMNIT!' _Roy yelled at himself in his head and stomped his right foot on the ground.

"And do something about the paperwork!" Hawkeye's voice called into his room. And faded away.

'_I hate her and love her at the same time..' _Roy mentally slapped himself across the face.

"What the hell is wrong with me!" he yelled at himself.

"Lots of things! I'll be happy to name a few!" A certain overrated, alchemy-loving, midget walked into the room with a taunting smile spread on his face.

"Fullmetal Shrimp,"

"Colonel Bastard,"

"I'll get straight to the point. What the hell are you doing here?" Roy said, clenching his teeth.

"Aww, aren't I allowed to see my favorite Colonel? After all I won't be seeing him for a month.." Ed mocked, now leaning against the wall.

"I was actually thinking of it as a happy period of grace. Now that I won't have to get paperwork for all the havoc you cause." Roy smirked.

"Listen. I want to talk about the real reason I'm here." Edward said, suddenly getting serious. "Do you know _why_ the Fuhrer gave us all a month off from duty?"

"Not a clue," Roy said, sitting on the edge of his bed. "I was thinking about that after Hughes told me."

"I'm thinking that it has something to do with the Philosopher's Stone,"

"You're kidding, right?" Roy looked at him jokingly. "The Fuhrer's the most powerful man in the country. What does he need the Stone for? Even if he was obtaining it, what makes you think he's going to get it in a _month's_ time?"

"I have a small clue." Ed looked down and folded his arms across his chest.

"Edward, he can't possibly be getting the Stone. You've spent 4 _years_ looking for it. He couldn't get it in a month."

"Time has nothing to do with it!" Edward argued. "He could've been looking the entire time he was Fuhrer! Plus he's older and has more ways to research!"

"Edward..What makes you think he's got the Stone?" Roy looked at Edward straight in the eye.

"Al says that he's a Homonculus," Edward stated. "So he obviously has something to do with it! Homonculi need the Stone to survive."

"Wait..Slow down..Homonculus?"

"He saw the Tattoo of the Homonculus in his eye."

"When?"

"Awhile ago. You weren't there."

"I've realized _that._"

"I just came here to see if you knew anything, seeing as you _are_ my superior."

"Your superior that is a better alchemist that you," Roy corrected happily.

"My superior that is _way_ too cocky and has too many girlfriends." Ed smirked.

Roy fell silent.

"I'll see you after a month. Have fun," Ed walked out the door and made his way down the hallway.

Roy still was sitting on the edge of his bed. He fell back and lay on his back wondering if what Elric said was true. _'You're thinking too much. This is just a little vacation. Nothing more.'_

He absently gazed at the alarm clock on his bedside. It read 2 o'clock. He still needed a place to say. Now that he thought about it, he wished that he'd accepted Maes's offer. It was better that staying on the streets.


	2. Day 2: part 1

YAY! About 5 hours of submitting and I already have 3 alerts. (I sound like a idiots, getting excited over nothing XD!) But this is the one fic that I'm actually going to finish. So..1 chapter down, 29 to go..29..thats a big number..Aren't I supposed to be finishing my weeks worth of homework..?

Oh yeah, forgot to mention something in my first chapter. My parents are really strict about me getting on the computer during school days. So getting a full 10 pages of fanfiction for a chapter will take longer than you would expect (especially seeing as my grades are getting low and I have to get up!).

Bleh..guess I'll start now.

* * *

After Maes had left, Roy now wished that he'd accepted his offer on staying at his place. But he'd just have to stop him before Maes would mention the 'partying'. 

Elric now said that Alphonse had actually _seen_ the Tattoo for the Homonculus on the Fuhrer, but Roy wasn't sure if he fully believed them. Alphonse was trustable, but Edward on the other hand...Well, you get the point.

Roy lay, seated, against a busy wall in the street. Yes, the street. From what he got at the store next door before it closed, it was just around midnight.

He fumbled with his fingers as the cold air was wisping around his body (A/n: HOBO ROY!). He was still in his military uniform (As if he had anything _else_ to wear).

"Damnit, Hughes, where the hell are you?" Roy muttered as a cold chill swept throughout his body.

It wasn't as if Roy was _scared. _He didn't have much to fear on the streets. Sure there were a couple of women now and then, but he was sure that he'd stick to Hawkeye.

'_Hawkeye...' _Roy though, _'she's been so cold lately. As if something's on her nerves and getting to her.'_ It hadn't been just today. She'd been like that since Wednesday (a/n: just note that today's Friday).

"I know where Maes lives..." Roy spoke to himself. _'But if I go there myself, he'll taunt me for not getting a place to stay! But he's the one who offered a place to stay in the first place. So it would be fine, right?' _Roy argued to himself as he tried to decide whether to go to Maes's house.

Roy got up from his little sitting place and tried to get his feet to balance. Sitting down for 3 hours had gotten his legs to fall asleep so many times. He slowly started to walk down the street towards Maes's house.

'_It's better than staying on the streets for a month...'_

_/knock knock/_

The door opened pretty much right away.

"ROY! I KNEW YOU'D COME!" Maes happily yelled the moment Roy's hand knocked on the door. "Look, I got chips and soda!"

"What the hell was I thinking.." Roy muttered as he saw his friend get excited over nothing.

"Come in!" Maes practically dragged a miserable looking Roy into his house. "Look, I have the entire living room set up! We can tell ghost stories and have so much fun!"

Upon hearing the noise, Maes's daughter, Elysia walked into the room.

"Daddy, why's Mr. Mustang here so late?" Elysia rubbed her eyes as she tried to clear her vision. She'd been sleeping, but obviously Maes's noise had woken up.

"Mr. Mustang's going to be staying at our house for the next month! Isn't that wonderful, pumpkin!" Maes said excitedly and held on to Roy as he tried to edge his way toward the door.

"Uhm..yeah..sure.." The five year old left the room without another noise and went back to her room to sleep.

"Oh yeah! Speaking of Elysia, you're going to be here for her 6th birthday!"

"Oh hell no.."

"It's going to be _so_ much _fun_, Roy! And you'll be there too!" Maes said excitedly as he looked through his pockets for countless pictures of his daughter. "Why haven't you come to the _last_ 5? They were so much fun!"

"Why do you _think_ I didn't come?" Roy nearly yelled as he tried to break Maes's grip from his arm. "And living here won't change my mind! I'm not coming!"

"Are you sure..?" Maes suddenly got this downtrodden look and his eyes started to water.

"YES, Maes! I am not going, and nothing's going to stop- Hey..what are you doing..?..MAES!"

Roy stared grumpily down at his hand. He wanted to burn it or even better, rip it off. Maes had apparently prepared for this and kept a pair of handcuffs under the sofa where they were near. Maes's 'What are these doing here?' act didn't go too far.

"See? Now you can stay for Elysia's birthday!" the over-obsessive father said happily with glee.

"Maes...Has is ever occurred to you that we have to _sleep?_" Roy angrily said with clenched teeth.

"Hmm..I wasn't prepared for _that_." Maes said, now thinking. "I guess we can use the bed."

"Oh oka- WAIT. THE BED! WHAT!" Roy yelled in shock. _'He can't put me in the same bed as HIM!' _"What about your _wife?_ Isn't she supposed to be in your bed!"

"Yeaaaah, but she's out of town for the week to see her sister..Didn't I tell you that?"

"NO!"

"Oh well..Now I did," Maes dragged Roy to the bedroom, while Roy was flailing around, trying to get out. It was hopeless, the handcuffs were metal. He couldn't break them.

They stood in the room for awhile, trying to figure it out.

"Ok..I'll get this side, and you get that side." Roy pointed to each side as Maes listened intently. Well, at least Roy hoped he was listening.

"Oh, but I'll get so lonely on my side. It'll be so quiet-

"FINE, I'll snore for you so it won't get quiet. Happy?"

"Ew...You snore.." Maes looked at Roy disgusted.

"Ew...EW? You're trying to get two grown men in a bed together! Isn't that EW!"

"Oh but Roy, we've known each other since we were children!" Maes whined.

"I don't care if we were brothers!" Roy yelled, "I'm not sleeping with you!"

"Oh fine," Maes said, finally giving in. He grabbed some chalk from his pocket and walked toward the door, dragging Roy along with him. He drew an alchemy array and somehow put both of his hands on the array, causing the door to melt shut.

"You know alchemy..?" Roy asked disbelievingly.

"No, Roy. I don't. I just used magic to seal that door shut." Maes said sarcastically. He took the handcuffs and ripped them apart with his bare hands.

Roy stared disbelievingly at what Maes had just done. "Wha...How'd you do _that!_"

Maes looked at him dead in the eye and repeated what he had said earlier. "Magic, Roy, magic."

Roy turned away in anger after his friend had ripped apart the cuffs before his eyes. If he did that..then it means the things were _plastic_ and he could've gotten out to begin with.

"There we go!" Maes went again in his usual sing-song voice. "Now...we tell ghost stories! You first, Roy!" He sat down on the bed and waited for Roy to start.

Roy couldn't believe this. Did Maes take some sort of anti aging pill or something? Because it really seemed like it. He was acting as if he were 5.

"Okay..." Roy began. "Once there was a man named Maes Hughes. He was an overly obsessive parent and complete nuisance. One day, his best friend, Roy Mustang, who was a very handsome man with the title of Flame Alchemist, decided to get rid of Maes. He snuck into his house one night and killed him. The end."

Maes caught along to Roy's little 'joke'. Whatever it was. "Okay...my turn. Once upon a time there was a man called Roy Mustang. He was the great Flame Alchemist. HE NEEDED A WIFE. EVERY SINGLE DAY MAES WOULD COME AND TELL ROY TO GET ONE, BUT DID ROY EVER LISTEEENN?"

"MAES!" Roy yelled.

"Wasn't that a great story? I hoped you learned the moral! Good night!" Maes shut the lights and went to sleep before Roy could say a thing.

"Nng..." Roy mumbled. He couldn't get to sleep last night. He was in fear that Maes would do something. And knowing him, he probably would. So Roy decided to sleep on the floor and use a pillowcase as his covers.

* * *

He opened his eyes wearily. They were blurry, but they could still see something on top of him..Something with black hair and glasses. 

"AAAH!" Roy screamed. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING MAES!"

"5 more minutes..." Maes groaned and flipped over, still on top of Roy, crushing his bones.

"Damnit, Maes.." Roy yelled and punched him straight in the jaw.

"Eh..." Maes groaned and rolled over, finally getting off of Roy.

Roy took deep gasps of breath from shock. "What were you doing down here! I didn't sleep on the bed for a reason!"

"Must've been sleep-walking." Maes said as he tried to get up. 'You know what, I had the strangest dream.."

"Oh no." Roy said, remembering the last time Maes had told him one of his dreams.

* * *

Flashback 

"You were stripping, Roy! In my kitchen! Right over here in this spot!" Maes explained when Roy had come over to see if Maes was alright. Well..apparently he wasn't.

"Maes...I don't strip.._Women_ strip..I don't care if men do. But _I_ don't." Roy said with his teeth and hands clenched.

"But you were stripping! And you had scaley, blue skin!" explained Maes.

"I am NOT a FISH!"

* * *

end of flashback 

"I don't want to hear it," Roy decided while remembering the last creepy dream Maes had.

"But you weren't stripping in this one!" Maes laughed. "Besides, I was sick that day! It was no wonder I had a weird dream!"

"Maybe your still sick, because I said I don't want to hear it.."

"Oh, come on Roy! You'll like this one, I'm sure you will!" Maes assured, trying to get Roy to listen.

"_FINE._" Roy gave in, hoping this would be worth hearing.

"Ok, we were all in the park, and there were statues of you and me everywhere." Maes started. "And there was this bus ride, where everyone dressed like you and were holding pictures of you!"

"It must be a vision!" Roy concluded. "I _will_ become the Fuhrer, and I _will_ become famous!"

Maes stared for awhile. He decided to leave out the end of his dream. Where he and Roy got in the bus and got driven off the road and into the giant lake. Then they all died.

It would probably be better if Roy didn't know.

Silence.

"So now what?" Roy asked looking around the room with a bored expression.

"We wait," Maes said seriously.

"What...? Wait for what?" Roy said in slight anger. If Maes was pulling one of his crazy theories again, which he probably was, then no doubt this would be stupid.

"We wait...for the monkeys.."

"WHAT!"

"Geez, Roy. You have no patience at all. We're waiting for Jean Havoc to come." Maes sighed.

"After spending countless years with you, no wonder I'm not patient." Roy angrily muttered.

Maes looked downtrodden. "But I'm your _best friend_!"

"What gives you that idea!" Roy said incredulously.

"Roy, you're so cold!" Maes whined as he whimpered to the corner of the room and began to 'cry'.

"Maes..."

"Roy, I can' t believe I offered you to stay in my home!"

"...Maes..."

"You're so cold! You can't even admit that you're my friend!"

"Maes! You have dreams of me _STRIPPING_!" Roy yelled, "I think that's self-explanatory!"

The doorbell rung. Roy walked to the door, and sure enough, Jean Havoc was there to save the day!

Okay, not save the day, but save Roy from losing his mind.

"Hey, Maes called me ov-" Havoc looked across the room, past Roy. "Is he crying?"

"Ignore him," Roy mumbled. "He's faking it.."

"You made him cry, Roy! You're so cold!" Havoc gave a glare to Roy which had its own words for 'go-and-burn-insert creepy curse word here'.

Havoc couldn't believe he was doing this. Somehow, Maes had promised $50 if he _did_ do it.

And that was why he was here.

* * *

-flashback- 

Maes walked over to the phone right after Roy had fallen asleep. He told Havoc not to go to bed any time soon that day. He hoped he had listened.

Maes dialed up Havoc's number, and a super sleepy Havoc had picked up the phone almost instantly.

"Maes...Why'd you tell me to...stay up..." Havoc groaned.

"Jean, you sound drunk. Calm down and let me explain." Maes sighed.

"What...?"

"We need to go and play a prank on Roy, just for fun you know!" Maes explained. "In the morning I want you to-

"Wait, whaat?" Havoc's mind was only half-functioning.

"What, what?"

"You want us to go and play Roy for fun...?"

"...No..." Maes was about to hang up on him for Havoc's stupidity. But it _was_ his fault that Havoc was crazy like this. "I said we half to play a _prank_ on Roy,_ just_ for _fun."_

"But I don't want to play with Roy...Roy cheats...always.." Havoc still didn't get it..

Maes covered his face in his hands. Could Jean seriously get this stupid from lack of sleep. "I'll call you in the morning."

"But I don't want to get mauled in the morning..."

Maes hung up.

* * *

-end of flashback- 

When Maes called back a little later, Havoc understood. He hesitated with his answer, but Maes promised $50. Which is how he's here.

"I didn't make him cry!" Roy explained, "He was acting like an idiot, like he always does!"

"Don't call your best friend an idiot!" Havoc gave another death glare.

"But it's true!"

"Maes has gone through so much in his childhood! How could you turn on him _now_ of all times!" Havoc gave a fake cry. "Today is the day his father was butchered!"

"...what?" Roy looked with blank look on his face. Did Havoc just say..butchered..?

"Yes! His father was butchered!"

"...Havoc...you're just making this up, aren't you?"

"Of course I'm not! Maes's father was a cow and his mother had to kill him to feed all her 13 children!"

"...cowsex...interesting..." Roy said in a fake tone. "But I've met Maes's father. He's human! _HUMAN!" _

Havoc thought for a split second. "He paid that man $100 to fake himself as Maes's father!"

"...And I bet Maes is paying you to do _THIS_!"

Havoc looked around uncertainly.

"He did, didn't he?"

"Yes," Havoc said in a guilty tone.

"Darn it, Havoc! You weren't supposed to tell him!" Maes sighed from his corner of the room.

"But he already figured it out! There's no point denying what he already knows!" Havoc complained. "And you owe me $50! Come on! Hand it over!"

Maes sighed and handed over the 50 from his pocket. "But you can't leave!" Maes ran to the door and slammed it shut. He pushed the sofa in front of the door.

"I'm being held hostage. I sure feel special now." Roy shook his head and sat down on the other couch on the other side of the room.

* * *

End of chapter 2 

Wow..I haven't updated in awhile. But I have a perfectly good reason for that! Uhm..and that reason is..I got Call of Duty 2, and I got insanely addicted to it! So, I've been playing that game for..a long time...

Roy: What kind of crazy excuse is that? You left your fans hanging.

Me: You have no authority to talk to me like that! I shall kill you in the next chapter!

Maes: WOOHOO!

Roy: MAES! You're supposed to be on my side!

Author's note: I may not update in awhile again. XD It'll probably take another month to write a chapter. Wow, I suck.

But, I have GOOD news!

I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching to Geico. :)


End file.
